We learned last week that hackers have been using the Arlington Immigration Court phone number to make “spoof” calls requesting personal information from the recipients. EOIR (the Executive Office for Immigration Review – the office that oversees the Immigration Courts) warns that, to “protect yourself, be wary of answering phone calls from numbers you do not recognize” and never “give out your personal information over the phone to individuals you do not know.” Good advice. But how do you know whether a call from the Immigration Court is, in fact, fraudulent?
Fear not, for I stand ready to assist. Below are the top ten ways to know whether a phone call from EOIR is a “spoof” or the real deal. If you receive any of the following calls, hang up immediately because it ain’t the Immigration Court– (more…)
Due to the pandemic, many Immigration Court hearings now take place via WebEx, which is similar to Zoom. There are certainly disadvantages to presenting an asylum case by video. It’s more difficult to relate to the Immigration Judge (“IJ”), for instance. And it’s not easy to submit additional evidence at the last minute. On the other hand, in the words of John Adams, “Every problem is an opportunity in disguise!” In our case, WebEx presents some interesting new opportunities.
Having now done a couple WebEx hearings, I have been thinking of how to use the new service to my clients’ advantage. Below are some ideas that I have yet to implement, but which could assure victory, even in the most difficult case. If we try any of these strategies in my office, I’ll be sure to let you know how things turn out… (more…)
This year marks the 400th anniversary of the first Thanksgiving, celebrated in Massachusetts in 1621 by 53 Pilgrims and 90 Native Americans from the Wampanoag tribe. To commemorate this grand occasion, researchers here at the Asylumist have unearthed the original immigration file of one of the Pilgrim families, William and Mary Brewster, and their children Jonathan, Patience, Fear, Love, and Wrestling (and yes, those are their real names; if you don’t believe me, look it up). Here, for the first time, is that story.
The Brewster family arrived in North America on the Mayflower on November 21, 1620. They and their shipmates did not encounter anyone from Homeland Security, and so they entered without inspection and immediately began working without authorization to find food and shelter. But the land was barren and frozen, and the Pilgrims began to die off one-by-one. Seeing their plight, a group of Native American activists, calling themselves No More Deaths, illegally provided food to the beleaguered migrants. The Wampanoag council later charged these do-gooders with felony alien smuggling and other crimes, but failed to obtain a conviction. Predictably, this encouraged more Europeans to make the dangerous journey to America. These included nonconformists and Anabaptists, though some, we assume, were good people. (more…)
An asylum seeker is tired of waiting for her interview, and so she goes to the Asylum Office to inquire about her case.
Asylum Seeker: I’ve been waiting forever for my case. Can you please tell me when I can expect an interview?
Officer: You’re in luck–we have a new system and we can tell you precisely when your asylum interview will be held. Let me check… Hold on… Ok, I see that your interview will be in exactly two million years.
Asylum Seeker: What?!!? When will my interview be?
Officer: In exactly two million years.
Asylum Seeker: Oh, thank goodness! I thought you said two billion years.
(2)
A Trump supporter stands outside the Immigration Court and waits for an asylum seekers to arrive for his hearing.
Trump Supporter, yelling at the Asylum Seeker: All our troubles come from the asylum seekers!
S.O.L.
Asylum Seeker: That’s right – from the asylum seekers and from the bicycle riders.
Trump Supporter: From the bicycle riders? Why from the bicycle riders?
Asylum Seeker: Why from the asylum seekers?
(3)
Two DHS attorneys board a plane to the Federal Bar Association conference in Memphis. One sits by the window and the other sits in the middle seat.
After a few moments, an asylum attorney sits down in the aisle seat. The asylum attorney makes himself comfortable, takes off his shoes, and leans back in his chair.
Suddenly, the DHS attorney by the window gets up, and states, “I think I’ll get a Coke.”
The asylum attorney in the aisle says, “No worries – I’ll get it for you.” He walks to the back of the plane to get the soda. While he’s gone, the DHS attorney spits into the asylum attorney’s shoe. The two DHS attorneys can barely keep from giggling as the asylum attorney returns to his seat, and hands over the Coke.
The DHS attorney in the middle seat then says, “That looks good. I think I’ll get myself a Coke too.”
Again, the asylum attorney offers to run down the aisle and grab another Coke. While he’s gone, the second DHS attorney spits into the asylum attorney’s other shoe. Once again, the DHS attorneys suppress their laughter just in time, as the asylum attorney returns with a second Coke.
The flights proceeds uneventfully from there, and lands on time in Memphis. On the ground, the asylum attorney slips into his shoes. Immediately, he realizes what’s happened. “How long must this go on?” he asks. “The fighting between our two sides.” “The hatred? The animosity? The spitting in the shoes and the peeing in the Cokes?”
(4)
A Syrian refugee walks into a travel agency in Amman. The agent greets her and asks, “Where to?”
“Where to?” the refugee repeats thoughtfully. “I wish I knew. Let me look at your globe.”
The Syrian refugee slowly spins the globe around, looking carefully at the different continents and countries. After a few minutes, the refugee turns to the travel agent. “Pardon me,” she asks, “but do you have anything else to offer?”
(5)
During the Second World War, after three months of waiting in Casablanca, a Jewish asylum seeker named Lowenthal had almost given up hope of getting a visa for the United States. The U.S. consulate was constantly filled with refugees, and it was virtually impossible even to get an interview with an American official. Finally, Lowenthal was able to make an appointment.
“What are my chances of entering your country?” he asks.
“Not very good, I’m afraid,” said the official. “Your country quota is completely filled. I suggest you come back in ten years.”
“Fine,” replied Lowenthal. “Morning or afternoon?”
